These last few months/weeks have been some of the hardest for me. My heart just hurts.
The "loss" of Halle was hard. This week Sully and I were 1 of 4 families being shown to a birth mom and she passed on us. They said she loved out book, but she passed.
My Grandpa suffered his 4th heart attack and is now in his last days.
Life is just sad sometimes. I found comfort in Ecclesiastes 3 this morning and I have taken the liberty to rewrite it. Sadness is part of the human experience we can't escape, but joy is coming.
You will experience a little bit of everything.
You will experience times of new life and times of death.
There will be times when you need to plant and time when you need to uproot.
There will be times you need to let things break and there will be times you will heal.
Sometimes things will be torn down but there will be times where you build.
You will have times when you cry, but don't worry you will also have times of laughter.
There will be sad days but they won't last forever. You will dance again.
There is a time to put yourself out there and there are times to simplify.
You will have times where you need to be very close with people and other times you will need to distance yourself.
There will be times for your to pursue and times where you need to understand the door is closed.
Sometimes you will need to keep things but don't be afraid to let go of others.
Hearts break but they mend as well.
Sometimes you need to be silent and other times you need to speak up.
You will feel both love and hate, you will want war but it all ends with peace.
God makes everything beautiful in time. We don't know what God is doing but take heart, He is redeeming everything.
I have been reflecting a lot these last few days. As my grandpa's health has declined rapidly, memories of my childhood have flooded my mind. Solomon was spot on. I have experienced times of sadness and times of laughter. I am blessed to say that most of my life has been laughter. As my family has walked through this next stage with my Grandpa we have been focusing on the moments of laughter with him.
"Grandpa, It's Melissa here."
"I can see that" -He is always very quippy.
"I wanted to tell you that I love you. I wanted to tell you about how I will never forget how you would tap your foot. You would point at it and say, "You see this foot?" Then you would jump and tickle us." -It was always this or "The Claw"
"Oh yeah?" -as he wipes a tear from his eye.
"Yeah, that is a great memory."
"It is isn't it?"
"Grandpa, you have loved us so well and I appreciate it. I love you very much."
"Right back at ya kid."
...that's me and Grandpa in the top right. Soon he will be with his bride, pictured just below him.