My Pride and Prejudice

I didn't want to write a blog post about this topic.

I would like to only write about the ways God is blessing me and not mention the ways God is correcting me in this process.

I was debating on sharing and someone reminded me that this is all part of the journey.  I wonder how helpful Scripture would be if we never saw the correction that came before blessing for people like Moses, Peter or Paul.

Pride and Prejudice.

Two things I didn't think I had.  In this journey, The Holy Spirit has revealed to me all the ways I have been carrying these around for years.

I'll start with pride. I see this as a control thing. I have a plan, it is really good and I can't wait until God has my life fit my plan. That will be so nice.  I wouldn't say that out loud but I think I lived it.

This morning I started thinking about all the things that could go wrong with adoption. What if they grow up hating me? What if they don't love the Lord? What if the first adopted child hurts any biological children or future adopted children?

I was sure that if we had biological children none of those things would happen.

Then I felt like God was saying, "What makes you think that having a biological child gives you more control?" I felt like God was reminding me that I am not in control. I have to submit my children to Him, regardless of where they come from.  

Now on to prejudice or secret negative opinions that we wouldn't say out loud.  As we mentioned before, we are open to adopting any race or gender of child and we are excited about it.

If you had asked me a month ago if I had any prejudice against any people group, culture or status, my answer would have been a no.

Then I started thinking about the kind of child I would love to have. What I didn't want came to mind so quick.  In my mind I was thinking, "I hope they don't act like____ or look like____".  In a way, I wanted to craft my "beautiful" child.

Then God told me, "all my children are beautiful. Even the ones that act like ___ or look like_____"

I felt like God was calling us to adopt and for me to say I want this or that was telling God, I would obey him as long as I liked how it looked.

I have a new set of eyes on how much control of children that parents have outside of Jesus. I have a new heart to reevaluate some of my opinions about people that are different then me.

whew.