Nails on a chalkboard/Joyful noise

This is an excerpt from some adoption training materials.

The words, "you are NEVER in control" are like nails on chalkboard to me. Never in control. It almost makes me cringe.

This is a part of my faith that I really struggle with. I believe that is one of the reasons God brought us on this journey.

Last week our social worker told us that she doesn't plan on our wait being long and we should get our finances in order.

This scared me.  I had not doubted God's provision until that moment. For whatever reason, I started thinking that the money would not come in time. I still believed that God could but I wanted to have a back up plan in case He didn't. I had been struggling over the weekend. I don't like asking for money and we still have a long way to go with our fundraising goals.

I began searching out a Plan B. This weekend was crazy busy with the Children's Christmas Production at church so I didn't have much time to think about our situation.

Today we received a very unexpected and generous financial gift.

I came home and started reading over our materials and came to the slide pictured above.  I realized that it is a really good thing I am not in control. God is and I don't need a Plan B. His plan is more rewarding than anything I could come up with.

He reminded me this afternoon that the pace of this adoption has nothing to do with His capacity/desire for provision.

I think for the first time the words "never in control" were turned from nails on a chalkboard to a joyful noise, I was so glad to hear.

Meeting Update

Our meeting went great!

Our adoption counselor is super nice. She moved here from Colorado Springs and her husband works for Apple.  She is perfect match for us! =)

We received about a textbook thick of paperwork to fill out.

Good news: Sully and I will have an opportunity to learn even more about each other
Bad news: We have to get a TB test...which is done by a shot.  yuck. 

While nothing is for sure, the counselor said she does not think our wait will be long due to the kind of children we are open to parenting.

Good news: Our wait could be between 3-10 months upon completing our home study. 
Bad news: We need to come up with $13,000 more dollars.  She said that we should go ahead and get that in order because you have to pay that fee upon placement.  If you have an extra $5 or $13,000 laying around, we would gladly receive it. 

I know that generally finances are tight around the holidays for people so if you can't give right now but have a good idea for a fundraiser after the new year, I would love to hear it. Drop us a line!

I have overwhelmed at the social media support we are getting. Thank you so much for walking this with us.

Who knows, maybe by this time next year we will be putting a, "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament on the tree!

One other thing... the counselor asked us if we knew anyone who has adopted and if we have anyone we can talk to during the process. We actually laughed out loud and replied with a resounding, "yes".
We are so thankful for all of our  friends who have paved the way for this. Thank you for responding to God's call so we can have footsteps to follow!

Devil Downer

Ever heard of Debbie Downer?

If you haven't heard of Debbie Downer check it out here:
Last night, I had a visit from her distant relative, Devil Downer.

I was thinking of what a blessing this adoption was and this is the conversation that played out in my head.

Me: I am so excited about this adoption!
Devil Downer: Yeah, but it is going to take forever and it will come at a bad time. (wan waaaaa-thats my debbie downer sound)
Me: I am so excited about how God has provided and people have given!
Devil Downer: Yeah, but you need a lot more and it's just not enough  (wan waaaaa)
Me: I can't wait to hold the sweet baby!
Devil Downer: Yeah, but what if you can't attach?  (wan waaaaa)

The Devil was trying to make this amazing adventure we are on seem like Frodo's journey under the crushing power of that ring.

As I lay in bed last night, I repeated over and over to myself, "God has a plan and it's perfect."

My friend wrote a song called, "Song to the Savior" and you can buy it here.
In the song Tyrus writes,

"Heaven's Majesty is seated on the throne"

When I think about Heaven's Majesty at the throne interceding on my behalf, it's harder to hear The Downer.

Praise God.

12-12-12

Wow.

We are formally approved!

On 12-12-12 we go for our first meeting with the adoption counselor. For some reason I am very nervous about this meeting.  It is such uncharted territory for us. After this meeting we also start our adoption training.  Please keep us in your prayers, specifically next Wednesday at 9:30.

We have been overwhelmed by the support of people! People that I know from Elementary school and up through college, have come out of the woodwork to help.  God has used it as a very cool way to reconnect with people.

 I heard it said again today that adoption is a way to have the New Testament unfold under your roof.  It can be a constant reminder of how we are adopted as God's sons and daughters.

That is all for now!!!

and the winner is.....

 Click here to see who won- winner winner chicken dinner

Thank you so much  to everyone who supported us! We are so blessed by you!  Thank you for your help with fundraising for our adoption! This helped us get well on our way to cover the Home Study!!!

Until  God brings us our baby, we have to practice with Lester who is in the picture above.

For those of you that donated and didn't won, keep your eyes out  for something in the mail!

love,
Smelly

Wanna win $50 to target this weekend?

Our Home Study is quickly approaching and so is the fee that goes with it.

We are doing a raffle for a $50 target gift card. All you have to do is donate $5 to our adoption fund by clicking the button and your name gets in the running. For every five dollars, you get another entry.

We will do this through Sunday and will announce the winner on Sunday night. I will post a video of the drawing so you can get in on the anticipation! We will mail it to the winner ASAP so you can use it for your Christmas shopping!

Can't give right now? Would you share our blog on Facebook?

I really have a strong feeling that God has a beautiful story  and He wants us to share it along the way.

Thanks!

My Pride and Prejudice

I didn't want to write a blog post about this topic.

I would like to only write about the ways God is blessing me and not mention the ways God is correcting me in this process.

I was debating on sharing and someone reminded me that this is all part of the journey.  I wonder how helpful Scripture would be if we never saw the correction that came before blessing for people like Moses, Peter or Paul.

Pride and Prejudice.

Two things I didn't think I had.  In this journey, The Holy Spirit has revealed to me all the ways I have been carrying these around for years.

I'll start with pride. I see this as a control thing. I have a plan, it is really good and I can't wait until God has my life fit my plan. That will be so nice.  I wouldn't say that out loud but I think I lived it.

This morning I started thinking about all the things that could go wrong with adoption. What if they grow up hating me? What if they don't love the Lord? What if the first adopted child hurts any biological children or future adopted children?

I was sure that if we had biological children none of those things would happen.

Then I felt like God was saying, "What makes you think that having a biological child gives you more control?" I felt like God was reminding me that I am not in control. I have to submit my children to Him, regardless of where they come from.  

Now on to prejudice or secret negative opinions that we wouldn't say out loud.  As we mentioned before, we are open to adopting any race or gender of child and we are excited about it.

If you had asked me a month ago if I had any prejudice against any people group, culture or status, my answer would have been a no.

Then I started thinking about the kind of child I would love to have. What I didn't want came to mind so quick.  In my mind I was thinking, "I hope they don't act like____ or look like____".  In a way, I wanted to craft my "beautiful" child.

Then God told me, "all my children are beautiful. Even the ones that act like ___ or look like_____"

I felt like God was calling us to adopt and for me to say I want this or that was telling God, I would obey him as long as I liked how it looked.

I have a new set of eyes on how much control of children that parents have outside of Jesus. I have a new heart to reevaluate some of my opinions about people that are different then me.

whew.

A Tale of Two Goofy Dreams

I have heard of crazy pregnancy dreams but I didn't think it carried over to adoption.

I have had two very goofy dreams.

On Sunday night, I dreamt that I was in jail and I could not figure out why. I was there with my little stepbrother and then they let him go but kept me.

I was upset because I knew that being in jail would not look good on an adoption application so I was trying to figure out why I was there. I was hoping for something minimal like speeding.

Then as part of my punishment, for whatever terrible act I committed,  I had to have dental care without any numbing drugs. I remember praying for God to have me pass out before they drilled.

Then out of nowhere we started having a worship service.

weird.

I learned 2 things from this dream:
-Stay out of trouble
-I better go to the dentist and get that cavity filled

Last night I dreamt that Sully and I were working on something for church and then he came with a baby all swaddled up. I was so excited and started telling everyone about it.  Then I called my friends Scott and Katie to borrow some of their baby stuff. It was 2 am.

We started driving to their house and as we did I realize it really wasn't a real baby it was a plastic doll. I got so excited when I saw the baby, I forgot to make sure it wasn't plastic!

I woke up just before I had to tell everyone.

I learned 1 thing from this dream:
-When are given our baby, make sure it isn't plastic.

Steps

Good News!

Sully and I were preliminary approved for our adoption!  Now we have to be formally approved then we move on to our home study. 

The formal application is $900.  My God is big and that fee is already covered by some VERY generous people!

Sully and I worked on the formal application tonight. 

My brain hurts. 

As exhausting as it was, it was a neat experience for Sully and me. We learned about each other through it. If anything, God is using this adoption to bring us closer together. We want to make sure we are in sync every step of the way. 

Keep praying for us. This application we just filled out is a lot more involved than the first and may take a few weeks to get a response. Pray for us to have patience. 

Who am I kidding? Sully has that down. Pray for ME to have patience. 

Our home study is the next step and that cost $2,000. Would you ask God to quickly provide that for us?  

If you feel led, you can donate via the button or I can email you our address. 

You can also support us by shopping at Just Love Coffee

We will have some other fundraisers going soon.

Maybe our approval will come soon, maybe not. In the meantime we will blog again.  We can already tell the theme of this journey will be trust. We are excited to get some practice trusting.

A black friday deal you will JUST LOVE.

We are so excited to tell you guys about Our Just Love Coffee Fundraiser!

Since most of you have Christmas shopping for others on your mind today, we wanted to tell you guys about a great gift idea that can help us as well.

Send your favorite people something awesome this year, coffee!

The Just Love Coffee Fundraiser was born out of the founders own adoption journey. Along with helping families adopt, this organization supports several non-profit organizations.  We have met the owners through a friend of a friend kinda thing and in the brief time with them we can tell, as they say in the south, "they're good people".

For almost every item on the website that you buy, a portion of that goes to help raise funds for our adoption. You can click the hyperlink above to start ordering your Christmas gifts or you can just click here.

We have purchased this coffee before and it is yummy!!! If you have crazy family members or friends that don't drink coffee, you can still pick up hats, shirts, mugs etc and some of the proceeds still go to our fundraising.

So sit back, relax, get some Christmas shopping done and I won't tell anyone if you order a bag for yourself!


Love,

Smelly

We're adopting(woohoo!)...here are a few FAQ'S

Sullivan and I have answered the call to adopt! We are so excited about this new adventure. We would love for you to walk with us during this time.  In effort to save everyone from a long narrative of how God beautifully ordained this process, we are  just going to hit the high points for you all.

If you want to know more about our journey just call us, we would love to tell how God is working in our lives.

Here are what we think would be the frequently asked questions from our friends:

Why are you adopting?
     While Sully and I were dating in East TN,  we discussed future family plans. Both us felt excited about the possibility of adoption one day. We had always thought of it as something we would do after we had our first biological child.  Then is September of this past year, I felt the same call to adopt as I did with Children's Ministry. same.exact.feeling.  We told a few people and asked questions but kinda let it just pass.  God had other plans.  Then in the last 3 weeks it has been clear to us that we need to start the process.

I have always had a weird feeling that I might have trouble having kids biologically. It was not a fear or a worry almost like a peace about it.   I  found out about 3 weeks ago that I have a genetic gene mutation called MTHFR. Google it if you want an explanation =).  If you have MTHFR, it doesn't mean you can't ever have kids but one of the main problems the disease causes are with fertility, tubal pregnancies and stillbirth.  When I found out I had this condition, in a weird way I felt relieved.

As silly as it is, this news made me feel like we had a license to choose adoption first because chances are it could take us a while to have a biological child and there are risks. Most women with MTHFR that do successfully carry to full term with healthy babies usually do so with fertility drugs and treatment. We have decided to not utilize those methods for building our family.

We feel strongly that God wanted adoption to be our first choice and not our plan B but having this condition made me feel like we weren't jumping the gun by adopting.

What kind of child would you like to adopt?
   We would like to adopt an infant from inside the United States.  We don't have any preference of gender or race. We want to be open to whatever child God has for us.

What agency will you use?
  We are applying through Bethany Christian Services.

When will you have a baby?
  So much of that is unknown. The beginning of the process is in our hands with filling out applications and getting finances together for the upfront fees.  After that is processed the time to bring a child home usually is about a year depending on how open to different circumstances you are.

How much will it cost?
  We are looking at about $17,000 when it is all said and done. Most people drive cars that cost more than that.  Everyone told us do not let money be a reason not to adopt so we are excited to see how our Jehovah Jirah will provide in this time.

What does Huiothesia mean? 
  It is the Greek word for adoption.  For pronunciation and definition, click here: huiothesia

How can I help?
  First, please pray. Seriously. We want to be so in tune with the Holy Spirit's leading on this and we ask you to pray for that. Second,  if you feel called to help us bring our baby home you can donate here by clicking the donate button at the top of the page. We also plan to apply for grants upon approval. We are planning to do various fundraisers one of which includes a drawing for an iPad 2!!!

That's all for now. We can't wait to see what God has in store!

love...

Smelly