12 Stone Moments

In the book of Joshua, we read about The Israelites setting up a monument of sorts to represent what God had brought them through and to.  They took twelve stones and placed them in the bed of the Jordan River as a way to remember how God had moved in their story.

We all have our own "12 Stone Moments" as I like to call them.  These moments represent times in our life when God desired to bring us through and to something. These moments are the ones that grow you and change you.  Have a character flaw?  I would bet God will give you a "12 Stone Moment" to change it.  The end result of the moment is not the point, it's the process that requires the stone.

I always struggled with waiting.  From childhood to adulthood, I was not patient at all.  I still haven't arrived but I am WAY better than what I was.

God knew I needed a "12 Stone Moment" to change this in me.  So He led my husband and I, on a long adoption process that was grueling, heartbreaking and redeeming.  Emily is one of my stones. Her eyes remind me that God's perfect plan is far better than anything I could ever ask or imagine. Her story reminds me that God is creating something beautiful and the exact time He gives is one of the most beautiful things of all.

God knew I needed a "12 Stone Moment" when He gave us Ezra. This is why I love Ezra's middle name, Stone.  I like to control things.  I want to be good at all the things and have everything running smoothly.  People would ask us when we were going to adopt again and I would say some point when I felt like it would be good for me.  Completely leaving God out of the process. Lo and behold, here comes Ezra.  I have never felt more empty and in need of Jesus as I did with a baby and an 18 month old...and a full time job.  It was grueling, heartbreaking and redeeming. The Lord is faithful.

For the last few months, I have felt one of these moments coming.  God's main concern is my holiness, for my own good.  He will continue to give me these moments so I can become more like Him.

I am not a good listener.  My brain is constantly firing with ideas.  I am a problem solver, so the second someone has an issue, I snap into solution mode.  At the same time, I stop listening.  God is not content to leave me with character flaws.

 Enter, what God is teaching me now.

We all have moments when we need to listen for what God wants.  Sometimes, we get lucky like Moses and we get the burning bush.  Sometimes we get the pillar of fire.

Then other times we get 1 Kings 19:11-13.

The Lord said, “Go out. Stand on the mountain in front of me. I am going to pass by.”

As the Lord approached, a very powerful wind tore the mountains apart. It broke up the rocks. But the Lord wasn’t in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake. But the Lord wasn’t in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake, a fire came. But the Lord wasn’t in the fire. And after the fire, there was only a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his coat over his face.

So here I am working on my next stone, learning to listen.  I am pretty sure God's voice won't be in the burning bush, the wind, the earthquake or the fire.

God will speak in a gentle whisper because He wants me to learn how to hear His gentle voice.