Monday, January 29, 2018

The Story of Me

Emily turns three in a month.

I have been really intentional about talking to her about adoption. We show her pictures of her birthmom and talk about how we prayed for her.   Children's books are super helpful with explaining adoption to your kids. There is one book in particular that Emily really loves. It's called "The Tummy Mommy"  by Michele Madrid-Branch



In the book, there is a wise old owl that helps the pregnant young woman and the family with empty arms.  I will read it with Emily and sometimes she sleeps with it.

This morning, I was telling her that I loved her so much and I am glad that God gave her to me. 
This was the conversation that followed:

E: "Yeah, the owl just bring me because your belly not worked." 

M: "Well, God brought you. The owl in the story represents God."

E: "Yes. Can you tell me the story of me?"

I don't know if I have a word for surge of emotions I felt when she asked that question. 

 How do I even begin to explain the 3-year journey to her? How do I tell a toddler about all the miraculous ways that God ordained her being in our life, in the five minutes I have before walking out the door? I replied with a shortened version but that question was burned in my brain. 

The story of Emily knocks me to my knees and is my constant reminder that God is present and working on our behalf even when we don't see it. 

As I was driving to work, I thought about the story of her and what I would like to say. So one day, when she has moved past learning her alphabet and counting to 10, she will hear the story. 

My darling Emily, 

The story of you is a story of the goodness of our loving Father.  Our Father is El Roi, which means "God who sees me".  Emily, God saw two women in very different places with two very different prayers and God used you to answer both of these women.  God saw me, your mommy, as I wept and prayed for a child. God saw me and showed me grace when I was angry with Him, that I didn't have you yet. God saw me when I doubted His goodness, and He still answered me.  God saw your birthmom when you were in her belly and was filled with compassion for her. God saw that she was in a place over her head and needed Jehovah-Jirah or the God who provides. You see Emily, your birthmom wanted you to have a life full of love. She wanted you to grow in a home where you would thrive. She wanted to give you everything so she had to give away her everything.  Emily, God also saw you. Remember, He was the One making you. He made your tiny heartbeat as you became my heartbeat. He crafted your gifts and passions. My daughter, the story of you is as story of fulfilled promises of scripture. Promises that you are wonderfully made, that God has a plan for your life, my life and your birthmom's life. Promises that God is a Father from which every good and perfect gift comes. Emily, your life is a good and perfect gift.  You are my answered prayer and my fulfilled promise.  The story of you, my darling, is my favorite. 

<3




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