Running and Hiding.

"You're not a good Mommy!",  she shouted from the dining room table last night.

You see, I was making her eat what I prepared and that wasn't she wanted so she was going to let me know.

I looked at her with stern eyes but a quiet voice I said, "Emily, that breaks my heart to hear you say that".

We've been reading her toddler Bible and when we read about The Fall, I always tell her that Adam and Eve broke God's heart. I want her to lean into the relationship with our Father and not obedience only put forth for fear of punishment.  I want her to know God loves and wants best for her and when we disobey, it makes Him sad.

What happened next caught me off guard. She got up, ran from the table, hid under an old record cabinet and cried.

Who told her to run from me? Who told her she needed to hide? Who told her to use cutting words with a piece of my life that I am always bringing to the feet of Jesus?

You and I both know exactly who.

It's the one who saw that Eve had a desire for the tree and her attraction to the thought of feeling powerful and coaxed her into disobedience.

It's the one who told her and Adam and Eve to hide from God out of fear. God had never harmed them but yet, for some reason, they were afraid. Someone told them to be.

In a matter of seconds, as this wave of the spirituality of the moment passed,  I approached Emily and told her to come out of hiding.  I picked her up and she collapsed into me, sobbing.  She said she was sorry and she didn't mean it. I told her that I love her and she never needs to hide. Nothing she says or does can make me stop loving her.   We hugged for several minutes and when she was calm I said, "I need you to go eat what I have made for you."  We hugged some more and then she ate her dinner.

Joke's on the enemy because, through my reaction to the exchange he meant to harm me with, I turned the tables. The Holy Spirit allowed me to take a flaming arrow lodged to discourage me and turn it into a holy moment to show my child what grace feels like. I was being a good Mommy. I don't get this parenting thing right all the time but this one made me kinda proud. I was proud because I believe, at that moment, I parented the way God parents us.

He sought Adam and Eve out, He seeks us out and it isn't because He doesn't know where we are. It's because He wants us to know we've been sought after. 

He doesn't condemn when our heart is still in pieces. He picks us up and we feel His love first. Kindness leads to repentance.

Then, when the tears are wiped away and our spirit is a peace, He guides us to go and live in the way He has prepared for us.

The liar whispered those hateful words that my daughter spoke and overwhelmed her with shame when she said them.  We have all been there in our own way, haven't we? We're enticed by choices outside of God's best, we give in and then quickly realize the damage we've done. Then we hide or we build our own walls. Left undisturbed, these walls or hiding places actually become graves because we've given up on the idea that Jesus wants us to have life and have it to the full.

I don't know where you're at and maybe this lesson was just for me but there is someone who desperately loves you. He died to hold you and His arms are open. Dear friend, fall into them.