Girl, Wash Their Feet.

There is a super popular book out right now, making the rounds through Christian circles.

From what I can tell, it's giving a voice to many who have seen themselves as less than and believed lies about themselves.

From what I can tell, the author would be a blast to hang out with and I bet we'd have a good laugh.

But, from what I can tell, the book falls short of what really helps someone feel whole and see themselves in light of how the Creator sees them.

But, it's not just this book.

The enemy has taken this idea of rest in Christ and hijacked it, labeling it "self-care".

Self-care should be things like eating well, sleeping well, making time for friendships, exercising and laughter. These are good things. This is being a steward of the life God gave you and being your healthiest to bring the most glory to Him. This sisters, is good and holy.

But that isn't what "self-care" has become. It has started to rear it's head with this manta, "Do what is best for you.''  Some authors/bloggers/personalities have actually said, "You should be the first of your priorities" or "You are meant to be the hero of your own story"

Sisters,  please tell me we know better than that.

I would have thought by now, that the enemy would have gotten some new material. Yet we find him using the same lie he told Eve in the garden. It's that whispering that God doesn't know what is best for you. You need to seize and take hold of what you want. 

I am calling a foul on all of it because it is a lie.

If you are the first of your priorities, your life will be incredibly empty. Who wants to be friends with someone who always puts themselves first?  We have met those people. We see them on TV.  Wall Street, Men who take advantage and women who backstab. But hey, they were just making themselves the first priority.

If you are the hero of your own story,  you're selling yourself short. 
The Creator who hung the stars, split seas and brought dead to life wants to be your hero and you are taking the bet on you?  Last time I checked, I am a hot mess that does my best to love my tribe hard and serve people but I still fall short. EVERY. TIME.  If I am holdin' out for a hero, it ain't gonna be me.

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Don't worry, I am about to get off my soapbox.  But if you're still with me, I just want to tell you that I have been at the end of my rope. I have cried in the fetal position at night, crying and speaking the name of Jesus because my world felt so dark.

Washing my face did not help.

Jesus saved me. His words told me to press into Him and His heart. I committed scripture to memory, that was my "vision board", I sought out spiritual mentors to lift me up and I served people. I got up and went to work and I taught kids about a loving Father who is with them even when they are scared, sad, lonely and afraid.

Jesus was carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders and yet He knelt to wash feet.

If you are struggling, I promise you as counterintuitive as it seems.....Girl, wash their feet. 

Jesus truly wants more for you than you. His heart is for your eternity, not your entertainment. If we are the captains of our own ships, we will crash every time. Let Him be you anchor in times where you feel less than, overlooked and undervalued.  He sees you, He loves you and He wants you forever. Cue Lauren Daigle's new album, "Look Up Child"

You know, He had a vision board too and He willingly was hung on it because, you... in eternity...with Him. That's the vision.

More Than A Party

Last weekend we celebrated my sweet boy turning two. My boy loves balls so naturally, we had to go big with that. 

Part of me wishes I had a taken more photos with the exact right lighting and composition but toddlers are fast and I wanted to be in the moment.

What a sweet moment it was.  I had planned for us to be outside playing for a good chunk of the time but after a short time outside, a storm popped up and drove wild children with whistles into my house.

It was packed. It was loud. And I loved it.

We were deeply rooted at WellSpring. We built our life there for close to a decade. We got engaged there, married there and brought our babies home there.  Rooted.

For the first several months here, I felt like I was Dorothy waking up from Oz and trying to find counterparts for my WellSpring family. I would see remnants of my Carrie in people or try desperately to find another Scott. I found someone I can roll my eyes with and that made me think of my Becky. I even found someone who talks exactly like Jodi Barnhill, y'all.  People, I even miss my doctors. Who does that?

But none of it is the same and if I am outright honest, which I always have been on this blog, I struggle with that.  I miss my people.  Even writing this, my eyes water and my heart flutters.

But last weekend was a turning point.

I felt rooted.  I looked around and saw all these people that have blessed my heart so much and I never would have met them. I would not have Margie, who has a heart of gold and tells like it is(P.S-She is a huge blessing to Compassion Christian Kids). I wouldn't have Maggie, who walked almost the exact same journey of waiting, adoption loss and finally bringing adopted children home, 7 DAYS after I brought Emily home. Same year.  There wouldn't be Denise (also the counterpart to Kelly G), who has been so open and loving and can see my sass and raise it. I wouldn't have Catherine and Dylan that will put on the janky Moana wig when my three-year-old asks them too.

This weekend was more than a party.

It was a reminder that we are blooming where we have been planted, we are loved and that the Church around the world is really just a group of friends in places we haven't met yet.

I miss my WellSpring people but I also love my Compassion fam.

And I guess that's one of the beauties of Heaven. I will have them both.

And Jesus.

That will truly be more than a party.