Different but good.

So we didn't get to go to an ultrasound today.

We got to the appointment and She wasn't there.  The receptionists asked us if we had an appointment. We told her no and explained the situation. She said no one had an appointment that morning because the doctor was doing a surgery.

Okay….

So I tried to call her and her phone was off.  My stomach dropped.  Of course, my mind goes to the worst place. She has changed her mind, I thought. Sully and I exchanged an "Oh no" look.

I tried again and she answered. In my heart I screamed, PRAISE JESUS. 

She proceeded to tell us that it got changed and she got tied up and forgot to call. She has had some family things going this week, so this is completely understandable.

Sully and I were bummed but then She asked if we would like to come to her house and get a bunch of baby girl clothes that she would like to give us. Her 8 month old daughter had worn these and she was passing them on to us.  We agreed and made our way to her house.

I want to pause the story for a minute- this journey up to this point has been so different than what we expected and so different than what we have been trained on. I never would have thought I would be texting with Her and receiving baby clothes and sweet messages.

We had a nice time visiting with her and playing with her other kids.  There were two big questions I needed to ask her. I have been scared to ask and even talked to adoptive families about how I should bring them up.

Guess what? I didn't have to. She brought them up by no prompting of my own!

On our way I told Sully that I would only bring them up if The Holy Spirit prompted me.  Turns out, He prompted her instead. What a relief!

I really wanted to see the baby today. I really want to know everything is developing okay. I really want to meet the doctor.  None of that happened today but it's really good.

Today was different but good.  We got to bond with Her in her home and I am not sure we would have had that if the regular appointment happened.

Thank you Jesus!

Unexpected Gifts

If you have been following our posts, you know that we are expecting a sweet baby girl in December! You can read more about it here.

We decided on the name Halle Mae because Halle means, "unexpected gift".   That is one of the best ways I can describe this whole journey.  All along the way we have received so many unexpected gifts. I want to celebrate those with you all.

God is good.

Gifts of Provision

When we first started on this journey,  I was concerned about the cost. The cheapest (sounds weird to try and find the bargain in the saving of lives) agency we could find was about $17,000 in fees.   Sully and I are very blessed by the places we work. We are always provided for and have often had a little extra to have nice things like our house, iPhones etc.  However, we aren't doctors or lawyers either. :)   We are in the stages of just starting our life and and paying of student loans(ugh). $17,000 seemed like a mountain to me.

A wise person I work with shared with me that God will just take care of it. At that time I thought, "I wish I had faith like that."   She was right.

Over the last two years, God has really provided for this baby through people. Yes, Sully and I are saving too, but we have come so far with the help of others.  God spoke to others on our behalf.
He whispered in the hearts to help fulfill the promise of adoption.  Those gifts did so much more than just help provide financially, they gave me hope. The provided peace knowing that God was moving on our behalf even when he seemed very silent.  After we announced that we were expecting a girl, I felt very foolish. I was worried I had spoken to soon. What if it falls through, how embarrassing?
Once again, God showed me that this was all His plan too.  We wrote in the blog that we needed $2000 more to be fully funded.  On Sunday, we had received $1000 dollars.  Two families who have kids of their own, mortgages to pay and school supplies to buy, thought of us.  I could tell you story after story.  I am reminded of $2000 from a couple and $20 from a friend- different amounts both very sacrificial.  God love this baby so much that He is calling people to sacrifice for her.   I am so humbled.

Gifts of Truth

This whole journey people have been speaking God's truth to us. I would like to write specifically about two conversations I had on Sunday.

 I was telling the whole story to a friend of mine at church.
 I was asking her to pray and telling her that I was prepping myself for worst case scenario, sharing that I know God will sustain us either way.  She stopped me and said, "There is no worst case scenario, you wanted to minster to a birth mom and you are doing that now." She was right, we did want to minister to a birth mom and we are doing that.  Yes, we REALLY want a baby but we feel very called to showing God's love to her regardless of us being part of her future or not.  Part of our calling was already being fulfilled and I was missing it.

About an hour later I was sharing with a different friend. I asked her to pray because I found myself wanting to regain control.  When you are waiting to meet a birth mom or have no prospects, you often feel like you are in a revolving door. You have no control and it only stops when God says.  You have to rely on God because that is the only option.  Now that "the door" has stopped and it is time to actually move forward my head and hands want to take control but my heart knows not to do that.  I told my friend that I am a hazard to myself and want to keep my hands off of the control but its very hard.  She looked at me and said something that brought tears to my eyes later.

She said, "Melissa, you heavenly Father is pleased with you. He is pleased with you. You need to know that.  The fact that you recognize where you fall short and want His way over yours brings joy to His heart." She continued to hug me and said again, "He is pleased with you."  

I could write a whole post about why that ministered to me so much but I need to save that for another day.

 With these stories there have been countless Facebook messages and emails that have been so encouraging to us. God is writing our names on peoples hearts and I am so thankful they are letting the Holy Spirit use them to minister to us.

Gifts of Prayer

This one is the most unseen of them all but I am convinced it is the most powerful.  So many people have been praying for us.  There are people who have been praying for us every day for the last two years.  Intercession is a gift.  There is so much beauty in the fact that each individual has enough to ask God for in their own life but they are going to take time to talk to Him about our life.
Prayer is powerful and effective.  I will never forget the moments in prayer with friends in my office before we met our birth mom. They laid hands on us, blessed us and the Lord brought peace through their words.  I don't doubt there were people praying for us even when I felt like God was holding out on me or had forgotten me.  There were people praying when I didn't want to talk about it.
 I am so thankful for my friend, we'll call her K.  More than once, I called her and I cried. One day we sat on the floor at the office and I just cried on her lap. She held me and prayed over me.  I am tears thinking about it now. I am also positive that I will have tears on her lap again at some point in the future and she will pray over me again.  Blessed to call her friend.

Thank you, Jesus!

James 1:17- "Every good and perfect gift is from above."  Even the unexpected ones.

Love and the Outcome

The day we were supposed to meet our Birthmom and it was canceled because of an ER visit, I cried. Then this song came on the radio- He is with us.

On our way to meet Her for the first time, the song came on again. 

On our way to the ultrasound, again.  The message is so true to our story.  I won't post the lyrics here but you can click the link about to watch a lyric video. 

The basic point of the song: We can trust our God, He knows what He's doing. He is with us. 

It's 9:08am and my stomach has moved north to my throat. We are in the waiting room waiting for our birthmom. I am shaky, nervous and surrounded by preggers.  Then She came in and I felt immediately at peace. Just like I did when we met for the first time.  I am telling you, she and I have a special connection.  

We walk into a small dark room with a fancy ultrasound machine.  She lays on the bed. The ultrasound tech asks her if she would like pictures and a DVD. She replies, "I'm just the tummy mommy- they are the parents. It's up to them."

Seriously? Is this real life? Could God really be blessing us like this? 

The tech showed us a beating heart and took some measurements. Tomorrow, She will be 17 weeks. 

Then the tech asked if we would like to know the gender. 

Ummmm, yes please! 

A girl. A sweet baby girl. It took my breath away. All those open doors closed before so this moment could open.  When we were finished, I went into the hall and cried. It was a happy cry.  Two years of dreaming of a moment and here it is.  

I was talking to my sister about what I should do from here.  I feel torn, I want to be excited and plan but I am fearful. She gave me some good advice, if it doesn't happen I am going to be sad no matter what(even if we didn't celebrate).  So we are going to celebrate and enjoy every.moment.   If it all happens, I don't want to regret not letting myself feel the emotions. 

So this December we will be welcoming Halle Mae to the world.  Want to know what the name Halle means? I looked it up in a baby name book at Women's retreat 2 years ago. The book said, "unexpected gift". 

Adoption is an Unexpected Gift. She may have been Unexpected for her tummy mommy but she is such a gift to all of us. 

Wanna continue on this journey with us? 

Would you support us with prayer? Aug 22nd, we go to see if all the organs are developing properly. 

Would you support us with your junk?  In September, we are going to have a yard sale to try and raise the rest of our funds. We need about $2000 more of our $16,800 total. 

Would you support us financially? Pray about it, if you feel the Lord leading you to help us cover the legal costs, click the donate button on the page. 

Thank you for your prayers today - we could feel them.