Time with Her.

She asked if I would like to have lunch and spend time just the two of us.  I agreed and we spent the afternoon together.  I was so nervous.  Once I got there, the nervousness went away.  We talked about life, tv and Her puppy.  We went to lunch and talked through what She can do now to let the child know down the road that She did this out of love.  We talked through the hospital and what names we like for the baby.

I asked Her about the day she heard about us and then she showed us this.

 What a little piece of paper can do is amazing.  This post it note was the catalyst for God connecting our life with Hers.

She looked so beautiful to me. I wanted to stay and talk forever.

Just like "Mary treasured these things up in her heart", I am treasuring these things up in mine.

God Sightings

The story that is unfolding for this baby is just so special.

From how we heard about her to today, there are little sightings of God's hand. Its beautiful to watch.

On Thursday of last week, we got an email from Lifeline (one of our agencies). There was a woman who was due February 22nd and they thought we would be a good match and wanted to show our profile.
Sully and I were very torn because we're already working with someone but at this point She hadn't made any real legal steps.  We didn't want to close the door if this wasn't going to pan out.  So we prayed. Lifeline needed to know by this morning if we wanted them to show our profile.

On Friday of last week, we were supposed to pay for a Home Study update for the other agency, Bethany.  We didn't want to cancel that just in case we didn't place with this momma but there is also a fee involved.  She does not want to go through an agency so if we place with her, we do not need the Bethany update.  So we prayed.

Before our meeting with Bethany, the social worker called and canceled. Her kids were sick so she couldn't make it. It was like God took it off the table for us.

On Sunday, I texted with Her and she said she was going to call the lawyer on Monday.  I was hoping She would make a legal step before we had to tell Lifeline anything.  I didn't hear from Her all day on Monday.  I was starting to worry.  Since I am practicing giving thanks in all circumstances, I stopped and prayed. At 3pm yesterday I prayed, "Lord, I am thanking you in advance for how you are working in this situation. I am excited to see how you surprise me".

At 4pm, Lifeline contacted us. That mother due on the 22nd of February has decided not to place.

A relief swept over me that I can't explain.  It was like God removed that situation so I wouldn't have to make a decision.  I felt like with both agencies, God worked out a way to remove them as obstacles for the placement with Her.

Last night my friend Jeanina messaged me and said she had a dream about me. In this dream, someone gave us a baby that had dark hair.  I asked her if it was because she read our blog post. She replied, "What blog post?".  She didn't even know we were working with someone.  

Guess what? This momma has dark hair.

This was her message to me this morning:

"God has filled me with a spirit of bravery and peace, I am ready to move forward." 

She called the lawyer today and they have a meeting on February 6th!

"The opposite of fear is faith"- Ann Voscamp

I have been so reluctant to share what is going on. Fear that I would feel let down again, has kept me from it.  I went to the 24 hour of prayer this morning and was praying over this situation.  I felt led to let the world in to intercede for us but I wanted proof first. I wanted certain things to happen first.  I felt like God asked me, "Are you truly being like Thomas now? Asking for physical proof that I am working on your behalf?" 

So this is my way of taking a faith step.

On my way to my Grandpa's funeral, I was listening to A Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp. God has really used this book to change my heart. The major theme of the book is gratitude. I have not been having a grateful heart lately. I sat at a Christmas event fighting back tears because I was so hurt and angry. I felt like God was ignoring me. I knew in my head that was not the case but I felt it none the less.  Anyway, the book points out how gratitude proceeded the miracle in scripture and she gives examples of this. I really felt like God was correcting me and reminding me to be thankful because of grace and that really the fact that it hasn't happened yet is God's grace. 

Before I left to see my Grandpa in  IN, a little selfish part of me somewhat jokingly thought, "Maybe I will tell Grandpa to tell God to give me a baby?".  I knew full well that my last words to my grandpa wouldn't be self serving but I thought it none the less.  Then about 30 minutes after Grandpa passed on Monday, I said to Sully and my sister, "Maybe Grandpa will tell God to give us a baby?" Two minutes later Sully's phone rang. It was a birth mom wanting to make an adoption plan.  I know that theologically, it is the Holy Spirit that intercedes for us and we can talk straight to God without needing my grandpa to put in a word. However, the timing is pretty crazy. Maybe God just wanted a way for Gpa to be connected to our story. My grandpa was an orphan.  

How the birth mom got our number was a crazy story as well.  Lisa Slusher has been helping with an IF:Prayer event. There was a Facebook page made and I "liked" the page on Facebook. One of the admins saw that I liked it and requested to be my friend.  Her dad brings the starbucks pastries to The Well.  Kristy then read our blog from start to finish. She messaged me and told me that she was very touched by our story and would be praying.  She is a sub nurse at Williamson Medical and works a few days per month.  Shortly after she read our blog she was working in the ER. She got called into a room that was not on her rotation because the nurse assigned to that room was busy with another patient.  She walked in the room and the birth mom started talking about she needed to make an adoption plan.  She was admitted for migraine headaches.  Kristy said she didn't know what she was allowed to say so she left the room. The nurse who was assigned to the room told Kristy that is was no accident she was called into the room instead and that she was even working that night. Kristy told me that she has been a long term believer but has never felt the Holy Spirit as strongly as she did when she went in to tell the mom about us.   She did not have our personal numbers so she gave her The Well number. The mom said, "My brother went to The Well a few years ago and it was a huge help to him. That shows me what kind of people they must be."  Kristy didn't know if she would call us or not but she passed on our information and left the rest up to the Lord. 

Remember the book, "A Thousand Gifts"? Gratitude in my heart proceeded the miracle of this. I have a dear friend named Ashley. They got their sweet baby in August. There are a lot of similarities between their story and ours. Anyway, I called her to be praying about it and told her about how God was changing my heart through this book and how I got a call after reading it. She said, "Melissa, do you want to know when I read that book? I read that book just before we got our baby". I got chills. Do I think the book is a magic step to make things happen? No, but I think the way that God has continued to link my story and Ashley's together is really cool. 

Who knows if this will all happen. There are some pretty serious things that still need worked out but none the less God has really orchestrated all this in a beautiful way. We don't know how this chapter of our story will unravel but we are ready with eyes and hands open no matter what God decides to give.   

We met with her at Chuy's before we left for Christmas break.  She is due March 7th and we are preparing our hearts. She would like to place with us and feels that we are meant to be the parents for this baby. 

My heart is still very wounded, I am trying to inhale God's grace and exhale my thanks.  

"The secret to joy is seeking God where we doubt He is." -Ann Voscamp

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." 

1 John 5:14