What the what?

July 8th

I am not ready to share this yet, but I need to write. I need to do something.  So maybe I will expose these later or maybe these posts will be forever kept between me and the screen.

On Sunday, a dear friend sent us a text. She asked that we be praying and if she could give us a call later in the day.

Sully and I both felt like this had to do with a baby.

Turns out- a woman in her church is pregnant  and cannot raise the baby. She has started looking into options. She visited a Planned Parenthood and was clear that she did not want to have an abortion. They told her to seek out someone at her church. She reached out to my friend.  My friend told her about us and with no prompting, the birth mom asked to meet us.

In the words of Tina Fey, "What the what?".

We are meeting her at 10 am on Friday.  Cue the "whats".

What do I wear?

What do I say?

What do I bring?

What do I pray?

At this point hardly anyone knows. But God does. In a weird way, I feel like it is hard for me to pray right now. I'm scared. Scared to get my hopes up.  I am praying the Holy Spirit will just carry us through.


July 11th-

Today is the day. We are meeting a birthmom. It is so interesting how God can bring you to these moments that you never would have imagined on your own.  This morning the Lord brought Deuteronomy 31:8 to mind, "The Lord Himself will go before you".  I know God will be with us this morning.   During our meeting this morning there is actually a second birth mom that will be hearing about us today.  There are a variety of outcomes after today but I have to trust that God is in each one.

I am at peace but only because of Jesus.  I shed a few tears earlier this week and was scared to death.  Then it occurred to me that Satan was trying to shortchange an experience that should make me happy and thankful.  Fear was being a thief and stealing my joy about the open door.

There is still only a small handful of people that know at this point. I have been hesitant to tell people because it is just a first meeting. This young woman has not said for sure that she wants to make an adoption plan.  I think meeting us is a chance for her to figure out if that is something she is interested in.

A friend of mine went through this. She met a birth mom and they decided they would make an adoption plan that included my friend and her husband. They walked through the pregnancy with her, told family had showers and opened their hearts to their soon to be child.  Then, as some birth moms do, she decided to parent. I was talking with my friend to get some advice on this meeting and she said,

" I would just try to speak from your heart as cheesy as that sounds...whether or not this girl chooses adoption, you guys may be the only way that she sees Jesus so just try and love her well in any way you can! If she's early just try to remember that she will probably still have lots of questions and be unsure about things and that's ok. Probably the best way you can make her feel comfortable is just by letting her know that no matter what her decision ends up being, you guys will support her--that's the hardest part I think. Loving her even if she chooses to parent...it's tough."


I am so thankful for the body of Christ.  God collided my life with another young woman who is on this adoption path in a similar way. He allowed her to speak to me from her experience. I hate that she had to walk through something so sad but I am glad that even this point she can still speak about loving like Jesus. That takes a heart that is in love with Jesus.

So now I will work for a few hours and then head out. As much as I want a child, my prayer must be that this mom will feel God's love for her through this meeting. "He must increase and I must decrease".  Everything is about Him.  Even if we welcome a baby in our home, the goal is to bring glory through that child to Him. It is all about Jesus.  The mission for today is not to talk someone into giving us a baby but  to glorify God.

Same Day July 11th-

So it's 10:00 am. We were supposed to be meeting with the birth mom but we're not. Instead, we are praying for her and the baby. She went to the hospital at 3am with bleeding. That is all we know at this point. She sent a text to our mutual friend. She wanted us to know that she had been looking forward to this all week. She really was talking about how she felt God had brought this all together.   Maybe God wants me to show his love through a different journey with her than the one we were expecting.  We don't know what is going on but God does.

Evening of July 11th

The mom is home. They think everything is okay. She goes back for tests next week.  She said she doesn't want to meet us until they tell her the baby is okay. She is very concerned for us and wants to protect our hearts.  I can't imagine how a person who has never met me can have such strong feelings for me.  So now we wait some more.