It could be any day now but who knows.
14 days, 18 hours and 24 minutes.
Who's counting?
I search my brain for analogies and word pictures to describe this moment. I feel differently than I thought I would.
Excited? Yes. Afraid? Yes. Ready? What does that even mean? Is anyone really ready to have the life of a human being in their hands?
The best description I can muster is, the edge. We are approaching the edge of something. The end of one moment and the genesis of another.
In the words of the wise theologian Lady GaGa, "I'm on the edge of glory and I'm hanging on a moment of truth. Out on the edge of glory and I'm hanging on a moment with you."
I feel as if I am on the edge of glory. The opportunity to give God glory in this, this paramount moment in my life no matter how it turns out. At the same time, She is on the edge of glory. How She has honored God through this and made the hard choice. How She has trusted Him to redeem this situation in Her life. This approaching moment, this wave drawing near will be an unmatched act of love. We are on the edge of something.
What always accompanies the edge of glory?
Fear.
God commands us to move in spite of fear.
Build the ark, take Isaac up the mountain, walk through the Red Sea, cross the Jordan, fight Goliath, stand in Nebuchadnezzar's fire, go to Bethlehem, follow Him, get out of the boat, stay awake to pray, see the tomb, touch the nail scars and spread the Word.
God wants us to approach the edges which will give His name the most glory.
Why?
Because we need to be there. Less of us means more of Him.
"The power to do what we do comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5 (NIRV)
The edge of glory is where His power is and I'm blessed to be here.
Hey melissa. Ive been following your blog and I'm really enjoying it. I'm so glad you picked up on it I love to read about your journey. Your words are very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! I totally needed it tonight. Im in Lithuania with our newest son, away from my husband and two other littles, and am tired, drained, homesick and SCARED. And I think in thinks moment, this time of in-between where life has changed but not quite yet, I started to feel like that fear was a sign of failure. A sign of my inability to really do this (adoption, Down Synrome, a third child, yiu name it!). But God used your words to remind me that my fear is a sign I'm on the edge of glory, I'm in a place where I literally won't make it without him. A place he asked me to be, and we said yes despite allt he fear, because His glory is worth any cost. Tonight, this fear is my reminder to just be still with my Father. Congrats on your new love, light and joy! (Found your blog thru Tula love, ha ha, been Tulaing my little dude all over this town!
ReplyDeleteGosh! Adoption is costly and more than just financial. It is comes with a high price to our emotions but everything valuable does. I will be praying for your sweet family!!!!
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