Forgetting and Remembering.

I've been here before.

I am waking up in a spiritual groundhog day type scenario because I have forgotten.

You see there is a lesson, or a practice rather, that I have been taught more than once and yet I have forgotten.

Like the Israelites did with 12 stones, I too, have set reminders in my path to remember and yet I have forgotten. The children God gave me, their middle names were given to remind me of God's faithfulness in my life.

Yet, once again, I have forgotten.

Our family is in a season of seeking and waiting and I wish I could write that I am cool and it's NBD.

I may be impatient but I'm not a liar. :)

I've started three paragraphs so far of what to say next and have deleted each one because quite frankly, I am bummed that I haven't mastered a skill just yet. I go back and forth on who this blog is really for? Is it you the reader or really just me trying to learn my own lessons?

This week, I have found myself anxious, foggy and scattered.

Remember before cable? You remember the snowy channels in between networks?  That's what I feel when I can't see the clear picture of what God has in store.

In our house, we watch a little Disney. Okay, full disclosure, we watch A LOT of Disney.  This afternoon during one of our "let's sing all the Disney songs we know" episodes, one scene from Aladdin kept replaying in my mind.

You know it. It's the one where Aladdin is pretending to be Prince Ali and wants to get Jasmine to join him on an adventure on the magic carpet.  She asks if it's safe. He holds out his hand and says, "Do you trust me?" It catches Jasmine's attention because it's not the first time she's heard THOSE words from HIS voice.

She asks "Prince Ali" to repeat himself and he says it again and this time she's sure because she remembers that when she heard it before, she was safe.   

Just today, I told someone that when I am not in control of what is going on, I don't feel safe. 

This afternoon it was like the Prince of Peace was inviting me on an adventure and once again asking, "Do you trust me?"

Then I remembered.

I remembered that He has always been present.
I remembered that closed doors and unmet expectations were not silence but grace.
I remembered that every time He asks me to trust Him, He gives me a reason to believe Him for the next one. 

I remembered to just sit, remain and abide.

In John 15, Jesus tells us that He is the vine and we are the branches. We're reminded we can do nothing without him so we're told to sit, remain and abide. But have you ever caught verse 4? Jesus says that every branch that bears fruit will be pruned. That sounds painful and uncomfortable and if we're honest it is, right?

You know what pruning does to plants though? It allows them to grow. 

So here I am, feeling the pruning again because Jesus knows I need to grow.

<3